Recently, I visited a store to buy an outer coat for the cold weather; I was working on a tight budget and I wanted something thick, even though I knew the thicker and prettier the jacket, the higher the price….hmmmm. I knew that getting what I wanted would be quite difficult, so I was willing to pay the price of thoroughly look through every rack that said ‘coats’. There I was, rambling through the racks, searching and searching for what would become my beloved coat whose snuggle will keep me from the cold hands of cold, lol (but cold has hands, and they are cold, aren’t they? :( ). Anyway, it was a long search, until there! In golden light rays, with the sound of heavenly choristers, singing in unison at the background, I saw my coat!!! My beloved coat!!!
........... And then I saw another....without any special effects….it called out to me. It had more substance, and plain beauty, nothing so attractive about it, not much fitting either; somehow, it looked like what I needed, what I should pick, but why?? Tell me, when I had found my beloved coat?? Sorry dear, but my heart is already taken, you’ll find someone, don’t you worry :). So I grabbed my dear coat, it was lovely, so beautiful, and had a great price. It was a long-sleeved, fitted, full length coat with an adjustable belt, very fashionable, with buttons in nice places; I looked like a Vogue model :D. I looked closely at my soon-to-be coat and I noticed it wasn’t so thick, it actually wasn’t thick, it just looked so. It was not really for cold, it was just a fashionable outer coat for cool breeze, not ‘cold’…then I noticed something smiling nicely at me, it was the other coat….and I also noticed it was slightly more expensive than my beloved, hmmmmm. Well I completely ignored it. Fine, my beloved coat may not be perfect, it may not be thick, but I could layer up nicely, I could pad myself up underneath and still be warm under my lovely coat.
Oh wait….it can’t happen…..it’s a fitted coat…… :| :(
I took another look at the other coat, it was still smiling at me, despite the dejection I had caused it. It wasn’t so bad, matter of fact it wasn’t bad at all. 📷I unbuttoned it and I realized it had the snuggle I wanted….it was thick and furry on the inside. Okay how about we do a quick surgery? Why don’t you cut out your furry inner and give….sorry, “lend” to my beloved? You seem nice, so that shouldn’t be a big deal or problem, right?” And I still got the same smile. Now this smile began to haunt me. But what’s wrong with a girl wanting a pretty coat? And a snipped borrowed furry inner?? :| Okay, fine, but what’s wrong with the first question? :(
I gave up…….and I bought this other smiling coat. Guess what? It was beautiful! I didn’t realize this until I came close, it was not fitted and that was perfect! Because it allowed for space in case I still wanted to layer up, and it was furry enough if I decided not to. It had a hood, it was close in color to the other coat and it gave just the perfect snuggle. This, my friend, became my oh so precious coat. My Beloved Coat..
Here’s the moral. Sometimes the things, people we ‘want’ in life are not necessarily the ones we ‘need’. Even so, the ones we actually need do not always look the part, or have it written all over; most times it requires us being honest with ourselves, having discernment or merely paying attention to recognize what’s ours and what’s not.
On a frank note, I may have been out just buying a coat, but this ordeal can depict several situations in life, and this was what dropped in me:
A lot of happily married couples today will admit that they had some sort of inner struggle before accepting their would-be spouses. For a man, there might be a specific mental picture of the kind of woman he wants as a wife. If he were being realistic to the slightest bit, it would likely centre around the following: physical attributes above average, nice "bearable" traits, good command of English, smart, fashionable, homely, great culinary skills, it’s endless, (according to my super instant geeky calculation, 97.9253501543% of people want other people with physical attributes above average! Lol why? And in the end it’s the beauty of character that matters.). All of those (and more), even in trying to be realistic, and there's nothing really wrong with that. However, there's everything wrong if he's not true to himself on certain things he knows he needs and doesn't need.
The rock bottom line is this: be open, be realistic and draw a line between fantasy and reality. All things are possible but be ready to be flexible and allow compromise on certain things; you should know and admit your primary needs (like I did with my coat) and have a mindset that some things can be worked on. Imperfection has its own kind of perfection. A happy couple may tell you that the person they are married to today, is not the same person they got married to on their wedding day, rather, a much better version, only because they learnt to compromise and evolve into the needs of one another as a couple.
In essence, let's focus on factors that can't easily change, on things that we can live with by default (character, habits, etc) and be less worried about those that can change with much less effort (looks, style, etc.).
So don't be quick to put people or things off, look again, observe and try to execute wise judgement. And just like my story of the two coats where the unwanted one had a higher price tag, the real thing always has more worth.
Cheers to life.
Over and out! :)