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The Job Application (Archive)

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Dear Adelaide,


JOB APPLICATION - UPGRADE REQUEST FROM PART-TIME CONTRACT TO FULL-TIME STATUS


I understand that what I'm about to ask of you, is often misconstrued by many, as a bed of roses, a means to an end, an achievement or even a mere status.


With much realization on what we are about to walk into (if you grant me this job), I hereby formally apply, for my current status to be upgraded from a contract job to a permanent job.

Recently, a man posted a beautiful photo of his wife and little children, and he titled it - My Employers. Funny it was, but it hit home. The truth is, many have continually failed to understand, and I, until now, that marriage indeed is a job, a noble and beautiful one at that, and like every other great job, it has its perks, peeves and other downsides. And as a new high-paying job has its unique responsibilities, tasks and jurisdictions, it also has its own demands and requirements needed for success and stability; I have come to agree that the same goes for marriage…


Adelaide, I am capable of, and will fully accept and commit with the best of my abilities, to the following roles and responsibilities that come with the  job if I'm taken:


• To be your lover, your strength and your confidante.

• To have you beside me and not beneath me.

• To never look down on you, nor break your spirit.

• To be your provider and your best friend.

• To be your pillar and uphold you spiritually.

• To pray for you daily, more than I pray for myself.

• To build this marriage on the principles and foundation of God’s word

• To keep you in God and not draw you away from Him.

• To encourage your walk in Him and not compete with Him for your heart; He owns your heart, I only live in it.


And more..


I also understand that there may be days of no romance, days when we will lean on our friendship; on days like these, we will pull through with God on our side.


I promise to be faithful, and truthful to you, even when it hurts, to correct you even when you refuse to see. I promise to stand by you, no matter how I feel towards you. I will always play my part to work things out, to go the extra mile if I have to.


It is my hope, prayer and wish that you are able to accommodate my strengths, as well as my weaknesses. There will be days when I may be too engrossed in thoughts to pay attention to your immediate and audible unspoken words, forgive me in advance. Even days when I may be insensitive towards your feelings, or utter words I may not mean, for these, forgive me as well. For the unknown potential downsides that I may cause, even unknowingly, I ask you to bear with me. With your love and understanding I will continue to evolve into a better man, for you. Even when I may be headstrong and egotistic, do not fail to correct me or draw my attention to the subject; you have wisdom, so I have trust in your approach and timing.


I understand that my salary, allowances and occasional benefits will be in the form of true love, intimacy, consummation, great meals, understanding, companionship, a listening ear, a shoulder (for I too will need that), an inspiration, vacations, quality time, and many more.


I also happen to be aware, from years of experience on the contract job, that if there be any violation of the policies on my part, I will be sanctioned in the following ways:


• The silence treatment.

• The cold shoulders, plain nodding and “I’m okay” response.

• The lone goodnight.

• The regular eye contact avoidance, and that straight, one time, searing eye contact, if I make you.

• The walking 2 feet ahead of me.

• The looking away or straight ahead while sitting next to me in the car.

• The empty seat on the dining, or where ever I’m dining (dining, because I know that no matter how angry you are at me, you will never deprive me of a good meal).


I will try my possible realistic best to keep you happy and prevent as many sanctions as I can.

In striving to thrive in these shoes, and eventually achieving that with time, I look forward to a job promotion, for the both of us – the job of parenting, given by our little employer(s). I look forward to building a strong, lasting and content unit with you.


With this new perspective, I now understand why a woman would dedicate her life and all her time to her husband and children in being a wife and a mother, what most people call a housewife. Today, that word has a slight negative connotation, and I wish a more noble name could replace it. I respect such women, because it takes wisdom, humility and foresight to recognize and apply oneself to these duties, most especially after making sacrifices in foregoing certain important responsibilities.


So, in granting me this job, I will merge mine with yours, by the responsibilities we will accept together. We will stand side by side, and never be bosses, employees, dictators, subordinates, nor staff, to each other, rather, we will be partners, forever.


Adelaide my beloved, with these several words, all I'm asking is, what are you doing for the rest of your life?


Will you marry me?


Are you smiling? Did I get the job?


P.S: When you're done reading this……please follow the directions on the little note; I'll be waiting at the location, for you.


All my love,


Asuquo

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